Kaspian King and the Grocer's Goblin [K.K. Book 1]

[This is a sample chapter from Kaspian King and the Grocer's Goblin [Book 1 in the Kaspian King Conquests] By Boo Radley (A.K.A. Gary Lee Parker)]

Chapter 1

Kaspian King is an ordinary boy in ordinary torn cargo shorts and an ordinary T-shirt with an ordinary stain on its ordinary collar. He lives in an ordinary house in an ordinary neighborhood at the end of an ordinary cul-de-sac with his ordinary parents, two ordinary big sisters, and an ordinary cat named Fred.
His ordinary family eats ordinary meals, takes ordinary vacations, watches ordinary shows, and listens to ordinary music on ordinary radios and ordinary iPods.

His ordinary parents, August and June King, drive ordinary cars to their ordinary jobs in ordinary office buildings in the ordinary city nearby. They come home at ordinary times and do ordinary chores, and go to bed at ordinary bedtimes.

Ordinary birds build ordinary nests in the ordinary elm in their ordinary back yard, and ordinary school busses haul ordinary kids along ordinary routes to an ordinary elementary school in their ordinary suburban town.

But Kaspian King has a not-so-ordinary secret; a secret he keeps tucked away in his ordinary pocket and never tells a soul. Kaspian King has a very unordinary ring.

Oh, it looks ordinary enough, nuclear green and plastic, like something you might find at the bottom of an ordinary box of cereal on an ordinary Saturday morning. In fact, he got it in the most ordinary way possible, in an ordinary clear plastic egg from an ordinary grocery store gumball machine, while his ordinary mother was distracted, as usual, by her ordinary shopping list.

He’d hoped, as he ordinarilly did, for an ordinary fake tattoo, or an ordinary rubber ball, and the ordinary ring was an ordinary disappointment that he almost tossed in an ordinary nearby garbage can.

But then he had an ordinary whim that he might be able to use the trinket to somehow tease his sisters in the ordinary way all ordinary boys of ordinary habits do, so he slipped the ring on his ordinary finger. And so began a most extraordinary adventure.

For when he put the ring on, his ordinary world changed.

It was the ordinary plastic egg he noticed first. As he raised his arm to toss it in the garbage can, he felt bumps and ridges against his hand that felt less like an ordinary plastic egg, and more like a hand grenade. And sure enough, when he opened his hand to take a look, there in his palm was an ugly green hand grenade, with a trigger and a pin, just like he’d seen on t.v.

His ordinary eyes widened in surprise, and he almost dropped the nasty thing, which probably wouldn’t have blown up since the pin was still snugly in place. But it still scared him when he thought about it later.

Luckily, he recovered from his surprise and stuffed the small bomb in a pocket of his daypack, between several pencils and a pack of gum. When he pulled the pack of gum from the pocket to chew a piece, however, it had turned into a block of C4 “plastic” explosive, and the pencils were now “pencil detinators.”

What was going on? And when did his daypack become an army rucksack? He didn’t know, but as soon as he thought this he noticed that his daypack had, indeed, become a camoflaged army backpack.
He unzipped the main zipper and pulled out two of his schoolbooks. But as he pulled them out, they changed right before his eyes. One moment he held English Is Your Language in his hands, and the next he held a dirty green tin with the words Basic Survival Kit – US065719 stenciled in gray on the front.

The second book changed from Math for Munchkins to a whole package of gray C4 explosive clay bricks, wrapped in thick paper and stenciled with C4 explosives – US1122334 – Handle With Care.

Kaspian began to panic. He opened his bag and pulled out several more items: another grenade, a survival knife, three boxes of bullets, and a gun. His rubber ball, ruler, the three boxes of staples he’d sneaked from the teacher’s desk drawer, and the gnarled stick he found on the playground, were oddly missing.

Even his big sister’s ordinary old hand-me-down cell phone was now army-green. And it was beeping ominously.

When he opened it, there was a text message from his mother that read, “Where r u? Sis’s in the bathroom. Wen shes done, tellher I’m in the checckout line.” Mom wasn’t very good at texting.

But then even that message changed. The words blurred, and suddenly it wasn’t a message from his mom anymore, but from someone named Grout Gregor. And now it said, “We’re watching you and we have your sister. There’s nothing you can do for her. She’s going to die! And you’re next! Don’t try to run to mommy. She can’t help you now. No one can! Mwahahaha!”

Kaspian gasped out loud and took a step back, dropping the phone in fear. What was happening? What was going on? He couldn’t make sense of anything.

Then he noticed his clothes. He was no longer wearing cargo shorts and a dirty T-shirt. Now he had on full army camo, black army boots, and black leather gloves.

He looked up to find even the store had changed. He was no longer in a bright, cheery grocery store, with shelves full of delicious food, and happy employees. Now he was in a dark and dingy warehouse. The rows of shelves had become rows of dirty wooden crates stacked on dirty wooden pallets, piled so high he couldn’t see their tops. The ceiling was lost in darkness, and the oily concrete floor was grimy and cracked.

It was then that he screamed.

But screaming wouldn’t help, and he knew it. So he clamped his mouth shut and sat down against a particulary filthy crate to think. He pulled his book bag over and went through his supplies again, listing them out in his mind: 2 grenades, 1 survival knife, 7 blocks of C4, 1 gun, 3 boxes of bullets, 6 pencil detonators, and 1 army phone.

He found another grenade, a small canteen, and half of a survival meal that the army calls an MRE stuffed into the front pocket of the bag where he’d stuffed the leftovers from his sack lunch that afternoon, but that was it. Not much, but it would have to do.

Now he had to make a decision. What should he do? He didn’t know what to believe and what not to believe. Was his sister really kidnapped? Was his mom really in danger? Were they really coming after him next? If so, he should probably try to rescue his sister and mom. Of course, he’d probably get killed doing it, but what else could he do?

But maybe none of this was real. Maybe he was just imagining it. Maybe the extraordinary world he’d found when he put on the ring was just just a ruse.

The ring? The ring! None of this had happened until he put on that ring!

He looked at it, glowing slime-green on his finger. Could it be? Could he really have gotten such a ring from a gumball machine? A ring that could do all this, that could turn his world topsy-turvy upside down, and turn his school bag into a deadly arsenal of weapons and war?

But on his finger it looked so ordinary. So plain. So ridiculously normal. It couldn’t be, could it? He was just being silly. Of course, he wasn’t being any more silly than to think he was now in a dark and dirty warehouse filled with rows of crates where his sister was being held captive by evil forces and his mom was in danger.

The ring.

Now that he thought it, he was afraid to touch it. He was afraid that if he took it off, it wouldn’t do anything and he would just feel stupid. He was also afraid that if he took it off everything would go back to normal, and he really would have a magic ring. He didn’t know which thought scared him most.

Either way, he didn’t have time to waste. Suddenly he grabbed the ring and pulled it off as hard as he could. But it didn’t budge. It was stuck on his finger. Strange, it didn’t seem too small when he’d put it on. He yanked on it again, but it didn’t move.

He bit it, but it wouldn’t break, and he twisted it but it didn’t bend. No matter what he tried, the ring simply would not come off.

Something was definitely up with that ring!

Suddenly he heard a thought in his mind, “I’ll come off when you rescue your sister.”

It was quiet, and he almost didn’t notice it. But it echoed in a ghostly chatter that caught his attention and held it. “I’ll come off when you rescue your sister. I’ll come off when you rescue your sister. I’ll come off when you rescue your sister.”

It was the ring, and it could talk!

“What should I do? How can I rescue her?” he said, hoping the ring would answer. But nothing came. The warehouse was spookily silent.

“I know you can talk! I heard you. So, come on, help me out!” he said.


But there was still no answer from the ring. Just a squeaking board a couple of rows away. He was on his own, his sister was being held hostage, his mother was in danger, and evil forces were out to get him too, and it was up to him to save them all.